Come Learn with Me: How a Virtual Companion Can Help You Get Things Done

It’s no secret that we live in an age of near-constant digital distraction. Between texts, instant messages, push alerts, and other distractions and interruptions, it can be really hard to focus and get things done.

But some are using digital devices to boost focus and productivity—borrowing a technique often used by people with ADHD. Real-time videos of people studying, working, or cleaning have tens of millions of views.

When Jen Simon of South Orange, New Jersey, was a teenager, both she and her sister had trouble taking action.

“My mom figured out that my sister had undiagnosed ADHD,” Simon says, “and she came up with a bunch of tricks—before they were even called tricks—to work with my sister. When she had to do something, like clean her room or put away clothes or whatever, my mom would sit with her. She would often sit with me, too.”

A few months ago, Simon found herself with a mountain of paperwork she’d been putting off. She remembered her mother’s technique and posted on Facebook for a friend or two to do the same: Just come and sit with her while she went about her mission.

That’s when Simon learned her mom’s old trick now has a name: body doubling. “It works really well for me,” Simon says. Now she uses it with her kids, too.

The magic of another person’s presence

Experts say that body doubling is a really effective technique. Even if someone just sits next to you and does their thing while you work, it seems to spur you on.

Dr. Edward Hallowell is a psychiatrist and author of more than 20 books, many of which deal with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

“People with ADHD find body doubling incredibly helpful because we—I have the condition myself—respond magically to the presence of another person,” he says. “Just having someone there activates a kind of attention, imagination, creativity that is dormant when we’re alone, usually.”

Body mirroring has become incredibly popular among people with ADHD and those who struggle with what experts call “executive functioning” — the many thought processes we all go through to plan, focus on tasks, and achieve our goals.

(According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, an estimated 7 million children ages 3 to 17 in the United States will be diagnosed with ADHD in 2022; a global study published in 2023 estimates that about 3% of adults worldwide are living with ADHD.)

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<div class= — Written by Jessica McCabe, creator of the popular YouTube channel How to ADHD.

Author Jessica McCabe runs a popular YouTube channel called How to ADHD. She also calls body doubling an effective strategy.

For example, McCabe says, “I was living with a friend who has ADHD and she really struggled with cleaning her house. So we played a game. I would pick up a bunch of items and she would have to decide where to put them. But I would give her options: ‘Should this be in the kitchen, under the sink? Should this be in your bedroom, in a drawer? Should it be on my head?’”

McCabe says it was a lot of fun, but it still helped her friend get the point across.

“Before, she would get really overwhelmed by the prospect of trying to figure out where everything went,” McCabe notes, “because there were just too many cognitive steps. Breaking down that cognitive load can be incredibly helpful and make tasks that were really challenging for us seem easy for us.”

McCabe calls it active body doubling—involving someone in the task. But there’s also passive body doubling—like Simon’s mom sitting with her. The funny thing is that many of us have been doing this for years. Maybe you go to a coffee shop to get some work done, or to the library to study: All those people sitting around you in those public places are unwitting witnesses to your productivity.

Online, alone, together

People are creating and finding this kind of accountability online. Sites and apps now help you find a companion for your quests. But there’s an even more popular way to find a virtual doppelganger, either pre-recorded or live: YouTube videos.

On YouTube, many creators film themselves studying, working, or cleaning in real time; think of your videos as a friend who’s always ready to work hard. McCabe says these videos can provide creators with a gentle form of accountability.

“If you don’t do it, people will find out,” he says. “And if you do it, people will find out. So even for that, even just to say, ‘I’m doing a good job and someone knows I’m doing a good job.’”

McCabe says this solution works not only for the person who created the video, but also for the people who use it.

“The person who’s recording the video won’t know if you’re actually cleaning or not. But there’s still that subtle social pressure of, ‘Oh, I see someone cleaning. I feel like I should be cleaning, too.'”

She says these virtual sessions are probably not as effective as in-person ones, but they are useful in certain situations: for example, if you have an unusual schedule, or if you suddenly feel like doing something you’ve been avoiding, or if you struggle with social anxiety. “You might not feel comfortable asking someone in real life to be your body double,” she says. “And that can be really powerful.”

These body-double videos — there are at least hundreds of them on YouTube — have collectively racked up tens of millions of views.

Hallowell argues that while screen use can be isolating, paradoxically this type of creative use of films can bring us closer together.

“We live in an age of loneliness,” Hallowell notes. “It’s paradoxical because we’re connected electronically like never before, but we’re disconnected interpersonally. If you can create an audience, even if it’s invisible and online, it makes you feel less alone. It’s very energizing.”

“It’s not just a responsibility — it’s imagining an audience,” he adds. “When I write books, I have an audience in mind. And that makes me do a lot better than if I was just writing for the darkness of the universe.”

Both McCabe and Hallowell say the body mirroring technique — both in-person and virtual — can help a wide range of people, not just those diagnosed with ADHD and executive functioning issues.

In a time when we all tend to be at least a little distracted most of the time, body doubling up can help us all stay on track. Or maybe try turning off all those phone notifications.