Helpful Ways to Get Your Kids (and Yourself) Ready for Back to School

Preparing children to return to school is essential to their success.

We spoke with Dr. Jennifer Katzenstein, co-director of the Center for Behavioral Health at Johns Hopkins Children’s Hospital, about the best ways to prepare your child for the occasion.

She suggested the following solution:

1. Establish a good sleep schedule. Click here for more tips on how to do this.
2. Have a morning routine. Brush your teeth, eat breakfast, and get ready for the day.
3. Preparing children for what the day will be like.

We also talked about how the pandemic has changed children’s lives.

“We’re seeing more anxiety and stress in our kids than ever before. The social and political climate has changed dramatically. And our own attitudes about what’s normal have evolved as well,” Dr. Katzenstein said. “I think it’s made our kids more open to the cultures of the world, more able to navigate the electronic world they live in.”

She added, “But also a lot of stressors and a lot of anxiety that we don’t always have the skills to deal with, both as teens and as parents. So the most important thing I can still recommend is working together on these strong coping strategies. And as parents, recognizing when we’re feeling stressed and upset and showing our kids what we’re doing to calm down.”

Advice for primary school age children

Dr. Katzenstein said that at this age, parents and children can get a little nervous about the first day. That’s why following these three back-to-school steps is so important.

“Can we go and find out where the restrooms are? How do we get around the school? Tours so we can start getting to know people, have familiar faces in those first few days and get a good understanding of the layout. The more we can set that transition up for success, the better,” she said.

If your child is having trouble getting into class or getting out of the car, remember to breathe, advises Dr. Katzenstein.

“The first thing I want parents to do is take a deep breath, calm down. Because if our kids see us getting worked up and upset, they might worry that there’s something they should be worried about,” she said. “Keeping them calm, reminding them that they’re going to a safe place, they’re going to school, teachers are going to help them get to class.”

She continued, “And as much as we can, actively ignore the crying and the upset behavior until it becomes aggressive. And then really praise them when they get out of the car, when they go into the classroom. Even if they’re still crying. ‘I really appreciate the way you do that. I love the way you get out of the car to go to school.’ And then slowly but surely, that behavior of calming down and going into the classroom will happen.”

Advice for high school students

“Secondary school is a time when organizational skills are developed more independently. So whenever possible, we help our kids implement an organizational system that has meaningful notebooks for each grade level,” Dr. Katzenstein said. “We make sure they’re comfortable with the device they’re using during the school day, how they can organize themselves and take notes on all the different software platforms they might need for school. Online math can also be a challenge for many kids, so we help them get used to it on an electronic device or with pen and paper as well, if that’s helpful.”

She continued, “Social time is a huge concern when it comes to the needs of our high school students. So starting conversations about bullying and cyberbullying, as well as social media safety and electronic device safety, is really important for parents during those high school years.”

Also pay attention to drastic changes in your child’s group of friends – they will no longer enjoy physical activities or will take less care of themselves.

“Also any changes in sleep or appetite. We also don’t want our kids sitting in their rooms in the dark in front of their devices. So pull them back out and give them that individual time every day, maybe five or 10 minutes, where we as parents and caregivers put our devices away and have our kids put their devices away, turn off any distractions and just check in on them,” Dr. Katzenstein said. “If you can do that every day, you can start to see a pattern of who they’re hanging out with, what they’re doing, what they’re reporting to you. You’re also telling them that there’s a safe place where they can share everything.”

“This will help you look for anything that seems off. As a parent, I want you to trust your instincts. So if something seems different, it’s a great time to talk to the school or a trusted advisor, psychologist or pediatrician about whether this is a normal part of teenage development, which can be a difficult part to figure out.”

Advice for high school students

“One of the benefits of the electronic devices that we have is that they can be tracked and observed very closely. So I would like parents to take advantage of this opportunity to monitor our kids a little more closely. Definitely checking their devices, making sure that you’re tracking them and other trusted adults are tracking them on any social media platform that they’re using,” Dr. Katzenstein said. “Also using some of these tracking apps for families and the ability to know where they are, how fast their car is going, if they’re driving, setting up those alerts so that they know if they’re speeding or if they’re acting dangerously. And again, keeping that conversation open, if you can take five to 10 minutes a day to check in without a device, it will pay off in the long run in terms of being able to know what’s going on. And also supporting them in their roles and responsibilities as part of our family.”