Question for Eric: Should I let my longtime friend track me through an app to prove I’m not sleeping with her husband?

Dear Eric: For almost our entire marriage of almost 40 years, we had a wonderful friendship with another couple who were also married.

But over the past four years, my wife has asked me, “How are you? What did you do today?” Between the lines, I could read that she thought I was probably doing something related to her husband.

In the course of a conversation or text message, she eventually mentions that her husband is not home. I honestly believe she is writing down what I usually do on different days of the week and checking in on me.

For almost 40 years there has always been an atmosphere of something other than friendship between her husband and me.

Now I find myself volunteering, like a kid explaining to mom what I’m doing. She also wants me to be at Apple, where you know where your friends are at all times.

The husband of one of her closest friends was cheating on her, and this friend may just be sowing doubts in her mind and not improving the situation.

-Innocent friend

Dear Innocent: Who has time for all this detective work? Time to tell Agatha Christie to step away from the typewriter.

Point out a trend you’ve noticed. You can do this in a friendly way. “You seem to be asking about my schedule a lot lately. Is there a reason for this? Would you like to spend more time together?”

Maybe she’s just lonely or bored. Maybe she really thinks there’s something going on between you and her husband. But your imagination will run wild just like hers until you start talking.

You’ve been friends for 40 years. Hopefully, you’ve built up enough goodwill between the two of you that you can have a conversation without accusations and clear up any misunderstandings on both sides. If things are going well, don’t be afraid to be direct.

Sometimes in life you just have to say, “Susan, I will not sleep with your husband.”

Dear Eric: You received a letter from someone who kept diaries all her life, and you gave her some kind words.

suggestions about what she would like to do with her many years of personal diaries.

Another suggestion would be to contact Radcliffe’s Schlesinger Library on the History of Women in America. Housed in a special collection at Harvard Library, “the Schlesinger is considered the leading center for the study of women’s history in the United States.”

If her letter had been accepted, the memoirist could have found her pages in an archive among those of great women in American history, including Susan B. Anthony, Charlotte Perkins Gilman, Amelia Earhart and Helen Keller.

An added benefit of donating the diaries to an academic library is that if there are potentially compromising items in the diaries, she can ask that they not be released until after her husband’s death, if she predeceases him.

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– A reader who loves history

Dear Reader: Several people have written about the Schlesinger Library! A wonderful suggestion. Thank you!

Questions should be directed to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and subscribe to his weekly newsletter at read on.