“I was sure I wouldn’t do it until I met Robert Sweeting”

Uzo Aduba compares her New York dating experience in her 30s to iconic escapades Sex and the City.

Speaking to PEOPLE43 years old Orange is the new black star shared: “It’s true, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the one.”

Aduba reflected on the challenges of remembering past relationships, admitting, “I honestly thought this guy was the moon. He was the furthest thing from him.”

In his upcoming memoirs ThThe Way is Right: How a Mother’s Strength Became a Daughter’s Purposewhich is set to premiere on September 24, tells the story of his journey through love and heartbreak.

One of the most telling moments was her decision to text all but one of her exes to express how much they had hurt her and that she “didn’t deserve it.”

The Emmy winner stated: “Every woman should do it. We let them get away with murder.

I allowed myself to be treated and abused to a certain extent. I deserve more respect and it is okay to insist on it.”

Aduba admitted that she wasn’t always honest about her relationship goals.

On first dates, she would often downplay her desires, saying, “Oh, nothing serious. I just want to hang out,” fearing that being honest would scare off potential partners.

She admitted that she “was willing to accept half of what I deserved,” believing that she would eventually win them over with her charm.

She realized that this approach set her up for disappointment when men were not interested in a permanent relationship.

This Orange is the new black The star also opened up about her struggles with finding love, admitting she almost lost hope.

“I was sure it wouldn’t work because it was tough on those streets,” Aduba said.