A last-minute, extremely opinionated voting guide to your own survival. And it rhymes

Greetings, white-haired Florida friends. A special election eve column for people in my age group. Or so I hope.

Remember the old movie “Network”? Newscaster Howard Beale loses his mind, urging viewers to shout out their windows: “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore!”

Welcome to the new Florida movie series: “I am so mad at this HEROIC YEAR! Weather and politics! And I won’t take it anymore!”

It may already be flowing into your living room or a nearby barrier island.

In the film, Beale’s deceptively mild-mannered network boss holds him by the shoulders. In a thundering, apocalyptic speech, he explains how the world really works; not just for the television business or the republic, but for its own survival.

This is how I feel now. As we continue to clean up our windswept shores, we still face the most important outcome of our lifetime, a national election. Our age group, especially men, is still the group most likely to vote for crazy Donald Trump and his ticket.

I’ve wanted to ask this group a simple question for a long time: At this age, do you really know how your play will affect you?

Let me shake my old friends by the shoulders. Call this our do-or-die moment.

The race was a draw. A group of voters will decide this. The world’s richest man steps up to lead a campaign. But nothing seems to move the needle decisively. It’s not my efforts anyway. In a recent article I called for a Lysistrata-style women’s sex strike. I have previously called for a Dunkirk-level engagement effort to turn Florida back into a swing state. It’s a long shot, of course, although the British did push back the fascists with a surprisingly effective people’s boat parade in 1940.

But here I leave the cultural references aside and rely on the harshest, most basic, all-American argument: personal interest.

Our age. And yes, age is a group. Age is what brings us together. Our aging is the reason we fall apart. We spend our final years counting the good time, the fun days we have left, against our funds, hoping that the next bump will be good, the next specialist will be open, the next shot will be bearable, the next pill will be affordable. If we’re lucky, we’ll have a lot of good times, but at the top of our lists is what the Bee Gees predicted: survival.

The irony is compounded by the fact that the greatest threat to the mortal interests of the elderly is a party firmly under the control of the floundering 78-year-old Trump.

So I’m offering a few last-minute reasons for my 65-plus voters to really think hard before casting the all-red, straight GOP ballot measure — especially if you, a loved one, or a grumpy neighbor are still feeling even a little hesitant.

My own CliffsNotes. A Start For Those Who Are Still Confused. Politics for hmmm-ies.

I’ll keep it short. Who has time, especially us? Here’s a checklist, a personal anecdote or two, and a few nursery rhymes for easy memorization. Clip it on or place it under a loved one’s breakfast bran bowl. Heck, you can even pass this on to younger voters who love their grandparents. Just say this: “You’ll be this age too someday, honey. Pinky’s word.”

Let me start locally with what Floridians have in mind, then move on to a larger area.

disaster relief

Still digging for your retirement home? Guess who will pay? In most cases, the Feds.

— Dems also agree with this. They think the feds should help out in tough times.

— The GOP believes local government and private businesses are best. Mmm-hmm. But mostly in conversations, not in real life. Gov. Ron DeSantis dies a little more every time he has to shake the visiting Democratic president’s hand. But he reaches out for help. Paper towels were thrown and hurricanes were tracked with Sharpie as Trump provided disaster relief.

Well, disaster relief… Do you really want to vote red? Live in fear.

Disaster relief part II: climate change

Our hurricanes, fires, and natural disasters are becoming increasingly destructive and are clearly affected by human-caused climate change.

— As retirees in Florida note, seniors are more affected by extreme heat and disasters.

— GOP downplays man-made risks and votes against funding.

Still voting red? Keep your storm hood over your head and your boat in the shed.

Social Security

It’s just numbers, ma’am.

— Half of seniors depend on Social Security for 50% of their income. A quarter of the elderly are 90% dependent on it! How confident are you that you will stay in your quadrant?

— 80 percent of incumbent Republican lawmakers support cuts or changes, namely raising the retirement age. Democrats want to preserve or expand Social Security.

Voting red? It would be better if there was plenty of bread.

Medicare

Let’s quote this 79-year-old man: One day you will be completely dependent on this efficient program run by the government. Medicare, like Social Security before it, was designed, enacted, and fought for from start to finish by Democrats.

— Any move opposed by a majority of the GOP in Congress (until recently, most things were obsolete). Remember, members of Congress largely benefit from subsidized health care.

— But there’s still no Medicare coverage for vision, hearing and teeth. What is this? Is your vision fading? Do teeth need implants? Dems: Let’s stay protected! GOP: Never! Socialism!

— Federal Medicaid extension programs that cost states next to nothing have been rescinded by GOP governors, including Florida’s, because…well, just because.

Voting red? Not for a better cure.

Obamacare

This is pre-Medicare, but for the aging crowd: Take it from a writer who was once stripped of both his job and his insurance due to a number of pre-existing conditions. One day you’ll really want this. Life throws curves.

— Created by Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and the Democrats.

— He fiercely opposed the GOP, which has tried to repeal the law 61 times.

— Trump’s replacement plan: “Concepts.”

— JD Vance: No, actually Trump recorded Obamacare!

— Vance’s pants: on fire.

Voting red? Watch Obamacare fall apart.

prescription drugs

Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and the Democrats actually lowered drug prices. American seniors who pay 20 times what foreigners pay for the same drugs are finally able to get Medicare to negotiate some drug prices.

— Of course, the GOP was vehemently opposed.

— New next year: Thanks to Democrats, some life-saving drugs with obscene prices that many dying patients can’t afford finally have a $2,000 cap. A real lifesaver in my own family.

— which most Republicans in Congress oppose. To chemotherapy patients: thoughts and prayers.

You’re in line at CVS but you’re voting red? You’re killing me, Fred.

long term care

What matters. As I wrote on these pages last year: Who will feed us and intercede for us when we are 84 years old? The only thing that is extremely expensive that Medicare doesn’t cover. Only 15-20% of Americans have long-term insurance. If you eliminate all assets, Medicaid may step in. Otherwise, assisted living can start at $60,000 per year; that’s twice that for anything fancier or a nursing home. Who runs these places? Health assistants; They are underpaid, they are not respected, they are hard to recruit. There are currently more than 8 million unfilled job openings; Imagine a few years from now.

— Biden, Harris and Democrats want $400 billion for aides and job training. The GOP Congress reduced that to $150 billion. Then they completely killed him in the best Christian way.

— Ah, but what about the same assistants? Who will be the most important people in your life if you grow old alone? The ones who will spoon-feed you your meals, separate your pills, and wipe your drool? The people you will probably take your last breath with, who will sing to you in your last sleep? The vast majority of them will be immigrants, probably women, willing to do the unbearable job of helping you grow old.

Are you going to vote red specifically for the mass deportation of all these immigrants? You’d better make your own bed.

***

Senior friends, this was my last attempt to shake you off your shoulders. I believe we should all vote for futures beyond our lifetimes. But if it takes charm to save our saggy skin, the republic will benefit from it.

Do or die. What a concept.

That ends my screaming “I’m crazy” coming from my windows (thankfully they are hurricane proof). Maybe this will carry it beyond my windows to the next wind that blows across our turbulent, sunny peninsula. Or further afield, wherever the winds may take our divided, conflicted, beloved country.

Guest columnist Barry Golson covers the Tampa Bay senior scene. His writings have appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Playboy, Forbes and AARP. He is the author of the book “Gringos in Paradise” (Scribner). Contact him at: [email protected].