‘Before’: It’s obvious Billy’s new series sucks

WHAT ABOUT? Eli (Billy Crystal) is a New York psychiatrist who decides to leave his profession after the tragic death of his wife, Lynn (Judith Light), until he encounters one last case he can’t resist. Noah (Jacobi Jupe), a little boy, comes to his door one night, disturbed by scary visions. Eli shares some of these visions, too, and wonders—reasonably enough—why. Noah’s stepmother, Denise (Rosie Perez), doesn’t know what’s going on in the boy’s past. He just wants treatment. Crystal is also the executive producer of this 10-episode film, along with horror master Eli Roth.

MY WORD After a 50-year career doing these things, Billy Crystal certainly doesn’t need any advice on his role choices – especially from some crazy punk TV critics. A few of these roles, arguably one or two, are among the most iconic in film history. Billy knows what Billy’s doing. Billy usually does. So why “Before?” For God’s sake, Billy. From where?

This is her first role in a TV series since her role as Jodie Dallas (the iconic character) on “Soap” (the iconic series) in the late 70s. Maybe he was getting tired of being called an “icon”. After all, this word is a bit ineffective; the kind of eulogy usually used for obituaries or headstones. Billy isn’t ready for either of them. There’s still a huge achievement to be achieved, another Emmy or Tony award to be won. He is a 76 year old young man. Billy isn’t going anywhere, and for that we should all be forever grateful.

This doesn’t mean we should be grateful to the “Before”. We shouldn’t: It’s too terrible.

What’s going wrong here means pointing fingers at the usual suspects, who appear to be malevolent and ill-tempered. So be it: Story, acting, writing, direction, musical score, and worst of all, special effects that seem to rely on a few ChatGPT redirects to conjure up monster snake-worms, various other slimy/twisty things, and blood coming out of the walls. There’s also enough fake blood to make the prop master (or cleaning crew) cry.

Crystal is also miscast, although she previously played the role of a psychiatrist in “Analyze This” and “That.” He knows how to channel his inner Herr Doctor Freud, but he channels it in a funny way. Horror, even bad horror (which can be unintentionally funny, as horror fans know all too well), isn’t really his bag. For example, when one of the fake worms starts bothering him, you reflexively expect his inner Buddy Young Jr. (“Take my mother-in-law… please.”). Instead, you get lines like, “This is an extreme transference (and) it’s like dreams mingling with dreams.” (Oy, that’s enough blood.)

Light – great at just about everything he does – is unforgettable here, too, but mostly for the wrong reasons. Her character is part of a genuinely touching subplot, and she effortlessly stole her few scenes, even those confined to a tub that appeared to be filled with tea (the brown color was supposed to be blood, but apparently it wasn’t there). enough left). Otherwise, her bloody ghost is lurking behind Crystal’s Hand, glaring at her as if she wants to punch him. I wonder why.

“Before” appears to be inspired by M. Night Shyamalan’s classic “The 6th Sense,” about the dead therapist and the boy who can see him. At least “Before” had the decency to have a different ending. This is the beginning and everything in between is the problem.

B.OTTOM LINE A psychological thriller with 100 proof.