SANTA FE, NM – October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In Santa Fe, there is a shelter that helps victims by providing them with the resources and strength they need.

The shelter offers everything from support groups to crisis hotlines. They will even help involve law enforcement if necessary.

“It affects every household. This affects all businesses. One in three. How many of your staff are involved in domestic violence cases that you don’t know about? said Jan McRae, CEO of Esperanza Shelter.

Only one month of the year is dedicated to raising awareness about domestic violence. For the Esperanza shelter, the goal is to help people live a violence-free life all year round.

“We offer a 24-hour crisis hotline, emergency residential shelter, courthouse legal assistance, a full range of counseling services, individual support groups, as well as our abuse intervention program that is for people who cause harm,” McRae said.

It can be physical, emotional, financial and psychological. McRae says that a lot of times when people meet, they’re on their best behavior, and it’s only later that red flags start to raise.

“Then as the relationship grows and there’s more connection, that’s when things usually start to turn negative,” McRae said.

So here are some signs to look for from the start:

“You’re ugly, or you don’t have makeup on, you have to wear it. Your hair is ugly. You’re worthless, you’re stupid. Nobody will want you. I’m the only person who could ever love you. If you love me, you would stop talking to your mother every day. Cut finances, maintain finances,” McRae said.

What do you do if you know someone in a situation like this?

“So listen, believe them. Don’t try to fix it unless your friend has specifically asked you for advice on next steps,” McRae said. “Be there to support them and know that these people can come to you and that you are a safe place for them. »

McRae says it takes about seven times for a person to leave their abuser and stay gone. In Esperanza, they discovered that some people don’t want to leave, they just want the abuse to stop.

“It’s another reason why we provide services to everyone in the family unit or household,” McRae said.

Unfortunately, domestic violence can also lead to women and children living on the streets.

“Approximately 65% ​​of homeless women and children in the country are homeless because of domestic violence. They lose their jobs and their friends and family cut them off out of incredible frustration at seeing what their loved one is going through. And that’s just a number of factors,” McRae said.

If you or someone you know needs help, click here for more information about Esperanza Shelter.