October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and a Norfolk woman who works in the Navy is sharing her story of how she overcame domestic violence.

Ashley Haines is raising awareness after leaving an abusive marriage four years ago. She says she finally found the strength to leave when her young children witnessed the physical abuse.

“I wasn’t allowed to go to college because I wasn’t allowed to spend time away from him. I wasn’t allowed to call anyone on my way home from work , I had to ask permission to play a game on my phone,” Haines said.

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Haines left the abusive marriage in 2020. She has her associate’s degree and is working on her bachelor’s degree.

“The first time he laid hands on me he pushed me and I fell down a step and my back was bruised and he said it would never happen again,” Haines said .

She says a week after undergoing surgery, her then-husband attacked her after a disagreement. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

“Out of nowhere he attacked me, grabbed me by the throat and broke my airway, slammed my head against the wall. It broke my nose and all that happened.” walked past the kids,” Haines said.

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Samaritan House and YWCA hold vigil for victims of domestic violence at Norfolk Library

She called the police and he was arrested.

Haines adopted her ex-husband’s two sons while they were married. She says she now has full custody.

“I needed the boys to know that this behavior was not acceptable,” Haines said.

Haines has been in the Navy for 15 years and now works at Naval Base Norfolk.

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Haines says Larissa Sutherland, a military advocate for victims of domestic violence, counseled her when she finally left.

“Over time, she became a strong, empowered survivor with a strong voice,” Sutherland said.

Naval Base Norfolk, the largest naval base in the world, also raises awareness and provides resources during a Domestic Violence Awareness Walk.

“It’s important that people understand the resources available to them to combat domestic violence. You never know what’s behind a smile or what someone is going through,” said Chief Officer Amber Smith artillerymen.

Haines says she is now engaged to a man who is raising her. She now defends the interests of other survivors.